Finally—salvation is upon us!

With a single stroke of genius, the authorities have done what no government before could: upended one of the last vestiges of the fascist regime. Unmoved that it was a UNESCO-recognised symbol of resistance, they renamed Mangal Shobhajatra to Borsho Boron Anondo Shobhajatra. A truly visionary step! Because nothing really shows resolve and commitment than renaming events vanquishing the troublesome remnants of a time that is best forgotten.

"Mangal"—what a troublesome word! Steeped in fascist history; suspiciously tied to the idea of well-being. Thank goodness we've moved past that dark chapter. Now, with "Anondo" (joy) leading the way, we're on the brink of a new dawn. Forget economic stress, forget political repression—joy is here, and it's been officially approved at a press conference.

This isn't just a name change. It's a national mood enhancer. A cultural cleansing. A therapeutic reset button for the nation's soul. Every great power transition deserves a fresh coat of paint, and what better way than changing the name of a parade? Statues may fall, rights may shrink, but the joyous march shall go on—newly titled, brightly painted, and full of cheerful slogans.

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‘Mangal Shobhajatra’ renamed to ‘Borsho Boron Anondo Shobhajatra’

Let's celebrate this grand tradition of renaming! Hospitals, roads, sports stadiums—even centuries-old practices—nothing is too sacred to rebrand. And now, this legendary Boishakhi procession too has found its true self. One can only dream of the future: perhaps next year it'll be Utshob Shobhajatra, and by 2030, simply Shorbojoya Jatra—the march that solves everything.

And oh, the symbolism! A wooden tiger to scare away sadness, a fish trap to catch good vibes, and yes—a slice of watermelon for Palestine! Because if anything expresses global solidarity better than actual diplomacy, it's a juicy fruit held high above a dancing crowd. We've entered the golden era of fruity foreign policy.

Meanwhile, some minor things remain the same—like blocked roads, controlled entry points, a heavy security presence, and a notable absence of spontaneous dissent. But those are just the minor details. After all, this is "Anondo", not anarchy.

So rejoice! Everything is fine now. Power is smiling. Culture is safe. Dissent is rebranded. And joy is flowing through every renamed banner and painted mask. The name has changed, and therefore, we are healed.

And in the end, perhaps we should be truly thankful. At least they didn't call it Sarkari Shobhajatra.

Though, who knows? That might be next year's joyful surprise.