Wedding invites start pouring in as early as the last week of November every year. Given the fact that I had married not so long ago, the pile this year was somewhat taller, which means more outflow of cash on my part!

Holuds have always been a big NO for me; maybe because the tradition  has lost the emotional touch, maybe the detestable 'Bollywood dhamakas' or simply the obnoxious dances that go along with it.

There were times, when one had to attend all four events — the holuds came as couplets to be followed by a Wedding and a Walima. For a thirty something bloke who detests holuds, the equation has become much simpler — one big fat reception, the sole purpose of attending which is the kacchi. The hi-hellos have also disappeared because no matter how close you are to the bride or the groom, chances are you will not find more than 10 familiar faces.

Some consider, 'blessings only' as god send. To me it is like a slap in the face!

Allow me to explain —

Marriage, the union between two people, or to be precise a new bond between two families, is somewhat a religious affair; no matter which religion you follow. Weddings and Walimas, however are social affairs. It is a celebration of a life through fun, frolic, and not to mention good food.

Since time immemorial, this has been the case. Weddings are part and parcel of human society, and gifts are an important part of it.

Maybe it is an exaggeration, but this is what I feel. If someone is requesting 'blessings only' for a social affair then why have a big fat wedding in the first place? A status update should suffice, no? Is it not a paradox that you are expressing your disdain for a thousand year old tradition, while inviting someone for another?

Every newly married couple will vouch for the redundancy of the gifts — blenders, micro-waves, etc. in multiples. But whatever happened to the 'thought counts' motto! Bengalis have always been the ones to keep up with Joneses, and in their desperate effort to get the better of another, we at times engage in unhealthy competition.

Perhaps, that should stop. People should gift what they feel like, and what they can afford. And just like the brides and the grooms and the two families expect you to honour their invitation, they should equally accept whatever the invitees wish to bless them with. After all, I see no harm in the blessing complimenting a bread toaster on the side.