Satire

Envisioning a world without tea and coffee

How would you define a dystopia? Would it be a society ruled by totalitarian rulers, or a population enslaved by humanoid robots? Whatever it is that you visualise inside your minds, one thing is for certain; it will not be pleasant. That being said, the idea of a dystopian civilisation doesn't have to be so farfetched. It could even point to something less atrocious. Perhaps it is a world without the internet, perhaps a world without memes, or perhaps, a world without tea and coffee.

I couldn't care any less about breakfast as it always seemed like a hassle to me. But as social convention dictates, I must have something in the morning or I won't have the energy to live through the day. I always used to have a quick breakfast, mainly biscuits with tea. To be more specific, I used to have toast biscuits dipped in tea. It was something I was quite fond of. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. As tea and coffee disappeared from the face of this world, I was now left with only biscuits but they alone couldn't satisfy me. I tried dipping them in ketchup and mayonnaise but they were a bit too thick. I then tried them with soft drinks but that went horribly wrong and I suffered from an upset stomach, and a distraught mind.

So I stopped having an actual breakfast and instead, I decided to start my days with an energy bar. Without tea or coffee however, I found it really difficult to function properly at class. The lectures seemed more irritating than usual. Staying wide awake throughout the entire class was also somewhat troubling. What bothered me the most was hanging out with friends at tea stalls without tea; the irony. After-class chill sessions at our usual tong were still very lively, but something was missing. The tea stalls have managed to serve alternatives such as hot lemonades but it just doesn't feel right.

Speaking of friends, remember going on coffee dates? Yeah, we don't do that anymore. The age old tradition of coffee dates has ended. We now have to make do with just the usual food. For beverages, soft drinks are always available, but they don't really do the trick. Others such as hot chocolate or smoothies are also there but still, nothing beats long conversations over a cup of coffee.

Former tea and coffee companies have now adapted themselves with the new world order. They're now dominating the market by manufacturing carbonated beverages and selling them to the masses. You can even purchase sachets of instant soft drinks which, when dissolved in water, will give you a proper soft drink. Scientists are now trying their level best to come up with a way through which they can get such drinks to grow on trees. This way, they plan on making use of the former tea plantation sites.

My mother on the other side, is pretty happy with all of this. She no longer has to make tea every morning and evening or when we have guests over. All she does is pass along soft drinks or juice boxes from the fridge. But without tea, even she gets frustrated at times.

One of the other things that bothered me about this whole situation was surviving the night before an exam without having coffee. I didn't even know that it was possible to do so. A week before my final exams, I began pondering over all the possible substitutes for coffee. Substitutes that would keep me awake and give me the energy I needed to survive the exam season. I first tried the usual carbonated beverages and juice packs. They were pleasing to my taste buds but were not effective at all for keeping me awake. I then went on to try hot chocolate and milk but all that did, was make me feel drowsy. With almost everything checked off of my list, I turned to my last resort-energy drinks.

I soon became addicted to these drinks. The addiction reached a stage where I couldn't carry out even the simplest of tasks without having a drink first. I couldn't comprehend the situation at hand as I allowed myself to consider this nothing but a drive to do more. I couldn't have been more wrong as soon enough, I realised that those drinks had done more damage than good. I wasn't alone on this. There were many others who had succumbed to the power of energy drinks and regretted it later on. Thankfully, it didn't take me long to reach my verdict on energy drinks and soon enough, I stopped drinking them.

As the days go by, my search for a proper alternative continues. Unlike many, I am yet to find something to replace my love for tea and coffee. I have tried many things but liked none. Perhaps that's how amazing those drinks were. Nothing could ever replace them.

 

Faisal wants to be the very best, like no one ever was. To survive university is his real test, to graduate is his cause. Send him memes and motivation at [email protected]

Comments

Envisioning a world without tea and coffee

How would you define a dystopia? Would it be a society ruled by totalitarian rulers, or a population enslaved by humanoid robots? Whatever it is that you visualise inside your minds, one thing is for certain; it will not be pleasant. That being said, the idea of a dystopian civilisation doesn't have to be so farfetched. It could even point to something less atrocious. Perhaps it is a world without the internet, perhaps a world without memes, or perhaps, a world without tea and coffee.

I couldn't care any less about breakfast as it always seemed like a hassle to me. But as social convention dictates, I must have something in the morning or I won't have the energy to live through the day. I always used to have a quick breakfast, mainly biscuits with tea. To be more specific, I used to have toast biscuits dipped in tea. It was something I was quite fond of. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. As tea and coffee disappeared from the face of this world, I was now left with only biscuits but they alone couldn't satisfy me. I tried dipping them in ketchup and mayonnaise but they were a bit too thick. I then tried them with soft drinks but that went horribly wrong and I suffered from an upset stomach, and a distraught mind.

So I stopped having an actual breakfast and instead, I decided to start my days with an energy bar. Without tea or coffee however, I found it really difficult to function properly at class. The lectures seemed more irritating than usual. Staying wide awake throughout the entire class was also somewhat troubling. What bothered me the most was hanging out with friends at tea stalls without tea; the irony. After-class chill sessions at our usual tong were still very lively, but something was missing. The tea stalls have managed to serve alternatives such as hot lemonades but it just doesn't feel right.

Speaking of friends, remember going on coffee dates? Yeah, we don't do that anymore. The age old tradition of coffee dates has ended. We now have to make do with just the usual food. For beverages, soft drinks are always available, but they don't really do the trick. Others such as hot chocolate or smoothies are also there but still, nothing beats long conversations over a cup of coffee.

Former tea and coffee companies have now adapted themselves with the new world order. They're now dominating the market by manufacturing carbonated beverages and selling them to the masses. You can even purchase sachets of instant soft drinks which, when dissolved in water, will give you a proper soft drink. Scientists are now trying their level best to come up with a way through which they can get such drinks to grow on trees. This way, they plan on making use of the former tea plantation sites.

My mother on the other side, is pretty happy with all of this. She no longer has to make tea every morning and evening or when we have guests over. All she does is pass along soft drinks or juice boxes from the fridge. But without tea, even she gets frustrated at times.

One of the other things that bothered me about this whole situation was surviving the night before an exam without having coffee. I didn't even know that it was possible to do so. A week before my final exams, I began pondering over all the possible substitutes for coffee. Substitutes that would keep me awake and give me the energy I needed to survive the exam season. I first tried the usual carbonated beverages and juice packs. They were pleasing to my taste buds but were not effective at all for keeping me awake. I then went on to try hot chocolate and milk but all that did, was make me feel drowsy. With almost everything checked off of my list, I turned to my last resort-energy drinks.

I soon became addicted to these drinks. The addiction reached a stage where I couldn't carry out even the simplest of tasks without having a drink first. I couldn't comprehend the situation at hand as I allowed myself to consider this nothing but a drive to do more. I couldn't have been more wrong as soon enough, I realised that those drinks had done more damage than good. I wasn't alone on this. There were many others who had succumbed to the power of energy drinks and regretted it later on. Thankfully, it didn't take me long to reach my verdict on energy drinks and soon enough, I stopped drinking them.

As the days go by, my search for a proper alternative continues. Unlike many, I am yet to find something to replace my love for tea and coffee. I have tried many things but liked none. Perhaps that's how amazing those drinks were. Nothing could ever replace them.

 

Faisal wants to be the very best, like no one ever was. To survive university is his real test, to graduate is his cause. Send him memes and motivation at [email protected]

Comments

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