Satire

Day in the life of an Instagram Influencer

5:00 AM

I roll out of bed and head straight to the washroom. The bags under my eyes have worsened and my hair is now home to four new species of birds. Hair and makeup takes me only 45 minutes these days, and then I'm back under my covers, ready to post the first selfie of the day. "Embrace your bare skin," I caption it, and am bombarded with tags of people inspired by me to go makeup-free for the day. I'm doing something right.

6:30 AM

It's time to hit the gym. I take a "before" shot, making sure to tag the brands of my cute gym clothes. Even after a full five minutes of working out, I don't break a sweat. Improvisation is something I've picked up in my four years of being an influencer, and so I drench myself using my water bottle and pose for the "after" shot. All I needed to do was caption it using lots of the flexing biceps emoji and I had already motivated thousands of people to care about their bodies.

7:30 AM

For breakfast, I head to a dainty café that stocks protein shakes as well as sweet breakfast treats. I share a picture of the shake with my followers but not my triple chocolate pancakes. They're my guilty pleasure, and I deserve it after all the hard work I did in the gym. Outside the café, I spot the cutest dog and post a picture with it on Instagram. The picture's a sure-fire hit, and I'm left wondering if adopting a dog is a smart business move. I decide to wait till I'm not as relevant anymore.

9:00 AM

My best friend, who also happens to be an expert photographer, and I go down to the park for a little photoshoot. The sun isn't really cooperating but that's what editing is for. These photoshoots are like routine now. I need new content everyday and selfies don't always cut it. I also remember to pick a flower and take a picture of it against the greenery.

11:00 AM

It's that time of the day again: money time. I head to the kitchen and whip out my trusty packet of slimming tea. I take a full body mirror selfie holding it and post it with a caption explaining how it has changed my life. I reluctantly add "#ad" at the end, but thankfully most of my followers don't care about what's sponsored and what's not; they trust my opinion. I almost consider brewing a cup of the tea but then I remember all the health risks and opt for my regular tea instead.

2:00 PM

My fridge is as empty as my stomach so I head to the nearest supermarket. When I'm back home, I post mini reviews of my favourite food brands, hoping they will sponsor me. I'll be honest with you, I'm not the best cook. Luckily for me, there's a restaurant right down the street. I order some takeout, present it on my own plate, and take a picture. People are already asking me for the recipe!

3:30 PM

This is a big year for me because I'm finally releasing my new book: an autobiography, since I am a mature 23-year-old, and have had enough experiences that I want to share with the world. I have a meeting with my ghost writer now but all I share with my followers is a picture saying "BIG THINGS COMING." Everyone's buzzing with anticipation.

6:00 PM

I haven't been live on Instagram for a while, so I decide to do a chatty "get ready with me" since I have to attend an event organised by a luxury brand in a couple of hours. I show everyone my makeup collection and answer all their questions. I strategically ignore all the hate comments because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. My job is difficult, and not everyone will understand, nor do I need to make them.

8:00 PM

I arrive at the event in a car the company lent me, in a dress a brand lent me, and I make sure to advertise the products like insane so they don't regret spoiling me. I take thousands of pictures on the red carpet and document the entire seven course meal. Some of my followers don't appreciate these posts because they can't relate, but I view it as sharing my success with people. They can never be here so I might as well try to include them as much as I can.

10:00 PM

I post one last video talking about how productive my day has been, and wish everyone a good night while tucked up in bed. They think my sleeping habits are healthy but if only they knew I'm struggling to find any series I haven't yet binge-watched.

 

Mayabee Arannya is a confused soul still searching for a purpose. Give her advice on life at facebook.com/mayabee.arannya

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Day in the life of an Instagram Influencer

5:00 AM

I roll out of bed and head straight to the washroom. The bags under my eyes have worsened and my hair is now home to four new species of birds. Hair and makeup takes me only 45 minutes these days, and then I'm back under my covers, ready to post the first selfie of the day. "Embrace your bare skin," I caption it, and am bombarded with tags of people inspired by me to go makeup-free for the day. I'm doing something right.

6:30 AM

It's time to hit the gym. I take a "before" shot, making sure to tag the brands of my cute gym clothes. Even after a full five minutes of working out, I don't break a sweat. Improvisation is something I've picked up in my four years of being an influencer, and so I drench myself using my water bottle and pose for the "after" shot. All I needed to do was caption it using lots of the flexing biceps emoji and I had already motivated thousands of people to care about their bodies.

7:30 AM

For breakfast, I head to a dainty café that stocks protein shakes as well as sweet breakfast treats. I share a picture of the shake with my followers but not my triple chocolate pancakes. They're my guilty pleasure, and I deserve it after all the hard work I did in the gym. Outside the café, I spot the cutest dog and post a picture with it on Instagram. The picture's a sure-fire hit, and I'm left wondering if adopting a dog is a smart business move. I decide to wait till I'm not as relevant anymore.

9:00 AM

My best friend, who also happens to be an expert photographer, and I go down to the park for a little photoshoot. The sun isn't really cooperating but that's what editing is for. These photoshoots are like routine now. I need new content everyday and selfies don't always cut it. I also remember to pick a flower and take a picture of it against the greenery.

11:00 AM

It's that time of the day again: money time. I head to the kitchen and whip out my trusty packet of slimming tea. I take a full body mirror selfie holding it and post it with a caption explaining how it has changed my life. I reluctantly add "#ad" at the end, but thankfully most of my followers don't care about what's sponsored and what's not; they trust my opinion. I almost consider brewing a cup of the tea but then I remember all the health risks and opt for my regular tea instead.

2:00 PM

My fridge is as empty as my stomach so I head to the nearest supermarket. When I'm back home, I post mini reviews of my favourite food brands, hoping they will sponsor me. I'll be honest with you, I'm not the best cook. Luckily for me, there's a restaurant right down the street. I order some takeout, present it on my own plate, and take a picture. People are already asking me for the recipe!

3:30 PM

This is a big year for me because I'm finally releasing my new book: an autobiography, since I am a mature 23-year-old, and have had enough experiences that I want to share with the world. I have a meeting with my ghost writer now but all I share with my followers is a picture saying "BIG THINGS COMING." Everyone's buzzing with anticipation.

6:00 PM

I haven't been live on Instagram for a while, so I decide to do a chatty "get ready with me" since I have to attend an event organised by a luxury brand in a couple of hours. I show everyone my makeup collection and answer all their questions. I strategically ignore all the hate comments because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. My job is difficult, and not everyone will understand, nor do I need to make them.

8:00 PM

I arrive at the event in a car the company lent me, in a dress a brand lent me, and I make sure to advertise the products like insane so they don't regret spoiling me. I take thousands of pictures on the red carpet and document the entire seven course meal. Some of my followers don't appreciate these posts because they can't relate, but I view it as sharing my success with people. They can never be here so I might as well try to include them as much as I can.

10:00 PM

I post one last video talking about how productive my day has been, and wish everyone a good night while tucked up in bed. They think my sleeping habits are healthy but if only they knew I'm struggling to find any series I haven't yet binge-watched.

 

Mayabee Arannya is a confused soul still searching for a purpose. Give her advice on life at facebook.com/mayabee.arannya

Comments

এখনো ন্যায্য মজুরি পান না নারী কৃষি শ্রমিকরা

নারী কৃষি শ্রমিকরা পুরুষ শ্রমিকের মতোই কঠোর পরিশ্রম করেন। একই সময়ে মাঠে আসেন এবং কাজ শেষ করে ফেরেনও একই সময়ে। অথচ মজুরি পান পুরুষ শ্রমিকের প্রায় অর্ধেক।

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