Photo: Darshan Chakma

Photo: Darshan Chakma

Photo: Darshan Chakma

If you're a man who's been in a relationship at least once in your life, you have, frequently in the lifetime of that relationship, been beaten ruthlessly and repeatedly at endless number of arguments by your significant other. Arguments that usually ended with a ridiculous mix of guilt-tripping, over-dramatisation and an almost non-existent, tiny speck of logic that left you with your head shaking in utter disbelief and amazement.  If you haven't, it's because you're a wife-beater and she's scared of you.
I might just get a mob of cat-fighting women hunting me down since I'm a woman, but the poor helpless men out there do need some mental support occasionally and hence I volunteered to offer myself as a martyr. So, what makes arguments against women simply unwinnable?
To begin with, women do not consider logic to be a weapon that should be used to solve disagreements. It does not matter if you have a plethora of sense-making facts behind you to prove that you are right, because it does not matter whether you are right or wrong. What matters is what she feels is right and what she believes is true, because that is what is going to determine the outcome of the argument. That's right, you CANNOT just keep on stating that your ex-girlfriend isn't even in the same country as you and so you really couldn't have been with her last night because she KNOWS what REALLY HAPPENED from deep within. If you do somehow manage to prove her wrong, you will still lose because she then simply takes out her next weapon: the History Book.
This is a part of her brain that contains detailed information of all the inconsiderate things you've ever done to her, all the rude things you've ever said to her, all the incidents where you ditched her for FIFA, all the times you lied to her, all the moments you failed to make her happy, all the occasions when you accidentally looked at another girl -- it's like your very own never-ending, super-accurate criminal record. And only when she starts flinging these at you do you realise that because she repeatedly forgets the name of your favorite football player and your highest number of kills on CoD, you misjudged just how sharp her memory is and how this was all a part of an intricate plan designed to trap you into a sinuous spiral of guilt and make you look like a heartless, douchey boyfriend.
A few unlucky men make it past this stage. But while in your mind you think that you are just a few steps away from your victory, you fail to understand that the final stage of the game houses the final, unbeatable boss.
“Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right…instantly.” -- Sam Slick
That's right, the final weapon, the final ace -- tears. There are just two options left for you now. Go for some damage control: apologise and admit that you're wrong like the good loser you are. Or push her further: tell her to stop being so immature and learn to be an adult, which will basically make you the biggest jerk anyone has every known because you will instantly be termed by the entire world as the guy who makes his girlfriend cry. And when she cries, your fate has been sealed. Both paths lead you to losing the argument, so accept the fact that equality in relationships is a myth and always will be. You should have known when you started reading this article that there really is no way to win these arguments. Unless of course, you're a wife-beater, which is not acceptable.