"I'M retiring on April 3, on my birthday. I would like to have a grand party because I want to celebrate my retirement and the beginning of a new episode in my life."

THAT was what my brother-in-law Col Mujibul Hoque, who commanded the Dhaka Sector and headed the caretaker government's Operation Daal-Bhat, and was killed at the early stage of the mutiny, wished for, just weeks before he was slain.
I'll never forget the saddest moment of my life when I had to bear the news of his deathso untimely, so barbaric, and so heart-rending. Indeed, I am making preparations for April 3 with due solemnity and honourbut not to celebrate his birthday and retirement but to commemorate his chehlum.
Reliving those 33 hours still horrifies me. I was travelling by road from Khulna to Dhaka when I first received a call from my sister saying she was confined in the gym as some BDR staff members had revolted against the army officers.
I got worried, thought about my brother-in-law who I knew was in the Darbar Hall, thought about my nephew who I heard was sleeping in his room, thought about my niece at school. Then I heard rumours about the DG being shot, and my heart sank.
I was getting text messages from my 17-year old nephew to help him as the mutineers set the house on fire. I frantically called as many people as I thought would be able to help. I felt so very helpless and unfortunate to fathom the trauma that poor boy must be going through. I was hearing rumours of Col Mujib's death, but in a state of denial kept praying: "Oh Allah, please don't let this happen. I'll do anything for you, please protect him, please protect all the others."
However, when I reached Dhaka at 5 pm, I went to bring my niece from her friend's house. Holding her close to my heart, I started worrying about my sister, my brother-in-law and my nephew. Adding to my woes was my niece's relentless yearning to see her parents, her brother, and her pet dog. I had to explain that there were some rebels who had taken control of BDR premises to realise their demands and once they are met, they would set everybody free.
By that evening I had to believe Col. Mujib's death, as his brother identified the corpse. But, how could I tell the little girl that her world had changed?
My sister didn't regret losing her belongings, hoping her husband was alive. But all that they had built together over 25 years of their marriage were burnt down to ashes by the mutineers. They had celebrated their wedding silver jubilee on December 9.
It's hard to put into words how I feel the loss of my brother-in-law who was a great friend to me and I have always admired him as the nicest human being on earth. He lived a worthwhile life and was proud of his loyalty towards the country he loved so much.
I remember when he was posted in Thailand, he would inevitably call me prior to every festival and ask for Bangladeshi greeting cards or gifts which he took pride in giving to contacts there just to show off his country's wealth. I still feel the warmth of his words when on several occasions he said: "I live for this country and I want to die for this country."
He was unyielding and consistent in following his principles and always loved to remain busy with his work. I always believed he had no enemies because he never wished ill for anyone. Utter contentment with what he has blessed with, had kept him away from being over-ambitious.
His work, his staff members were always priority for him. He even didn't hesitate to remind his family members how much he valued his staff members and their welfare. That is why my sister found it very difficult to reconcile how those same staff members shot him. To be murdered at the hands of people whom he knew must be all the more heartbreaking.
The only consolation in all these terrible outrages is that for everyone who defiles their fellow citizens and country there are many more who show outstanding bravery and self sacrifice when confronted with these terrible situations. They give us continued faith in fellow human beings. I am grateful to all our friends, colleagues and family members who stood by our side, lent their helping hands unconditionallyall of which are so crucial to that gradual process of healing and reconciliation.
Most people are fortunate never to experience such horrors, personally, and cannot begin to understand the lifelong scars they leave. But it is remarkable how, over time, human beings so often pick themselves up from a tragedy and find 'coping mechanisms' to move on, as those they have lost would almost always wish.
I know it will take time to reconcile and I suspect there will be many difficult moments over the months to comefor all who knew and loved Mujib. But we all have to remain strong to move on and live Mujib's dreams. I am proud of my sistershe is a strong woman with undying loyalty to her husband, his ideals. She is capable of instilling her husband's principles, values in her children and move on with confidence and dignity.